Xplore BCN 2018 is finished. In fact it finished one week ago exactly but i had to think a lot about it. It was… Intense. It was also very interesting. And it was very open-minded. Maybe too much open minded for me in some aspects. As the amazing song from Tim Minchin says “If you open your mind too much your brain will fall out (or: Take My Wife)”.
It was my first Xplore. As an attendant and also as a presenter. The organization did a very good work. They were in contact with us, they found a really astounding place and they worked hard so everything was ok. And meeting Ruben was a surprise. He is a very interesting human being that worked a LOT. So here is my review and thougts, from my “scientific mind” approach 🙂
First. The place. Was INCREDIBLE. A really beautiful house/masia in the middle of nowhere, really close to the french border, surrounded by forest, lakes, trees and life. The access to the place was complicated but possible with our little Evalia Camper. It was really good to be in the middle of nature.
The organizers placed us in a trailer that had hot water, shower, kitchen, real beds, toilet and we were sharing it with Pia Struck and Maranta, so nice place and even nicer trailermates.
And then we met lot of interesting people. Everybody was very open minded, very poly, very nice and everybody was hugging everybody. And i respect that. The same I respect cannibalistic tribes if i travel through Papua New Guinea. But my personal space bubble is a 3 meter steel thing and i usually dont like to be touched by strangers. And you can argue that it is a bad thing or a good thing but it is my thing and i like it. I also enjoy a lot silence and being with myself. And the place was perfect for that. Fortunately, everybody respected everybody and that was very nice. No one tried to convince other people about their ways of understanding life, universe and everything else. And that was very good, because i was able to shut up and not tell the people that were talking about energies and vibrations to go and pray to a high tension power line tower. 🙂
The workshop structure is similar to Eurix but less open/chaotic, and i like that. You know in advance what possibilities and you have a good vision of the complete amount of workshops and that allows you to plan. There were 3 spaces and we had our first presentation the first day at a very early hour. Probably not so easy for the people to arrive and jump into an amateur porn shooting workshop but very interesting people came to the workshop and after some talk and theory and discussion, we took our cameras and started shooting hot things. And some people did amazing things. There were 5 groups, shooting at the same time, and it was extremely easy to find people who wanted to shoot, who wanted to be shot, etc. I took a lot of notes about what can be improved the next time i give this workshop but we were really happy about the results.
Then we split our time between attending other workshops and preparing our next presentation. And working. I had some things to do and fortunately there was possible to get 4g signal at that place and there was also an extra hidden wifi 🙂
The food was very ok. I mean, i am not vegan, and all food was vegan. And some times the food was awesome. But i was feeling a bit outsider and bad person with my omnivore thoughts until i found a note in the main board that said “i will give massages in exchange of cheese or real milk”. After that i relaxed 🙂 And we also had the fridge of our little campervan full of mini frikadellen and other forbidden things.
For our second workshop we did a big research about the current status of shooting porn in different countries and situations. A lot of people came, and a lot of ideas were presented by everybody. I found that very few people is aware of the huge amount of censorship you have inside porn and at the end we shoot “illegal things” from the point of view of different countries and payment processors.
And then there was the final party. I had a lot of expectations about the final party and having expectations is a horrible thing. So i went through the process of excitement, surprise, confusion, acceptance, relax and then i started enjoying the part for real. I wont tell anything about the party. You should go to a Xplore to find out.
After 4 days of Xplore i realized a lot of things. Some of them were unexpected. And i learnt a lot of things and met very nice people.
But the first thing i realized is how unrelated to the standard vision of polyamory I am. I dont like hugs. I dont like to be touched by strangers. I dont think “love is infinite, time isnt”. I think love is a extremely unusual thing, and loving more than one people at the same time is a extraordinary situation, with a very very very low porbability, that makes you very fortunate but it is also a very complicated thing. And as many complicated things, it is worth it. Polyamory is not something you choose. It is neither something you look for. It is something that happens. And you can take it or run away. And if you take it and you are sincere with your partnerr AND (specially) with yourself, can be an amazing thing. For me, being polyamory doesnt mean that i am very social, that i want to hug everyone, that i like physical contact from everybody or that i am eager to start any kind of relationship (sexual or not sexual) with the first person that says hello. I am still extremely shy. I still have my personal space. And i know that in a “standard” enviroment, being shy, not being extremely communicative and wanting to be alone and have your personal space can be misiniterpreted. You can not imagine how it can be even more misinterpreted in a poly/open enviroment.
I had a very good time, it was a good experience and i look forward to more xplores. But the last day i was completely overloaded in a social and sensorial way. So when someone, at the final talk, said and recommended: “dont be alone in the next days” i realized how different persons can be. The next days i really needed to be alone, to camp in remote places, to think a lot, to spend a lot of time with myself and to process all that happened. That is why i took almost a week to write a little text about the experience.
I am thinking about writing a bigger post about the way i see polyamory, because i found in the last months several people that think in a similar way, and they dont fit or feel ok in the usual superopenminded-hugs-everybodyloveseverybody-letsusegooglecalendar-extroverted polyamory enviroments. What do you think? 🙂
And i did some pictures at Xplore, because the organization asked me about it. I like them a lot and i took special care of not shooting anyone that didnt gave me explicit permision in showing your face. But i didnt get an answer from the organization about which ones i can use. So here you have a couple of them with no faces (or Margot face, she gave me permission). If i get an answer i will post more.